Workology

Have you ever had a crush on a ‘dumb’ job? Something that takes up a lot less brain space and lot less stress than your current high-pressured profession? You’re not alone.

Many professionals fantasize about doing a job that seems easier and nicer than their own, a job in an environment where everybody seems happy. “Wouldn’t it be nice to work in a cake shop,” says the head buyer of a major department store who is regularly putting in 13 hour days and taking work home. “Everybody is happy in cake shop. If I worked in a cake shop, I could have my cake and eat it too!”

“Wouldn’t it be nice to be a Turkish barber,” wonders a stressed out systems analyst who is neither Turkish nor handy with the razors. “Everybody is happy at the Turkish barbers, all those men dozing under their hot towels.”

Well, dream on, stress bunnies, because quitting a stable but high pressure job to make cakes or shave other bloke’s stubble is not the easier option you might think it is. When the going gets tough, the tough don’t get going. They stay put. They know the cake or barbershop scenario looks great from the customer perspective. In reality, it would be less money, probably more physically demanding work, and to the outside world of co workers in your field, you will look like you’ve a) fallen on hard times or b) had some sort of breakdown.

But there is another breed of dissatisfied worker who hasn’t quite done the maths of professional extreme down shifting. This worker escapes to the heaven of the local greasy spoon at lunchtime, a joint invariably staffed by young, smiling, eager to please kids or genial, avuncular older men with Italian accents There is the welcome hiss of the Gaggia machine, cheerful but not too loud pop music, and happy, hungry chatty people bent over steaming plates of spaghetti. There is friendly banter, talk of holidays, and such a warm , cosy, maternal feel to the place, coupled with all that nursery food, it’s like a womb with a view.

So nice, in fact, that it would probably be a great place to work. How hard can it be? Make some sandwiches, pour coffee, slice cake, natter with the customers, who you will come to regard as friends. Sure, there would be cut in pay, but you’d get free lunch every day, and wouldn’t it be worth it for the never having to answer to that slave driver of a boss again. After the lunch time rush, you could probably just sit at a table, eat cake and do the crossword.

Except you couldn’t , because you’d have to clean the tables, wash the dishes, mop the floor, refill the salt, pepper, ketchup and vinegar dispensers and do lots of other chores you’d never think about in your fantasy job because it would wreck the fantasy.

Well, wake up and smell the Swiss water process decaff, guys. A hard time at work is a hard time at work and you’ll get through it. It’s great to follow your dream, but if you dream is for a simpler working life , a job where you think you don’t have to “think”, think again!

What are your “dumb” job fantasies? Have you ever jacked in trading shares to flip burgers and found it a deeply rewarding experience?

Tell us your stories.

Google yourself lately? No, I mean, in the last couple of hours? How was it for you?

Is popping your name into a search engine the acceptable face of self obsession, a bit of harmless ‘inter-bating’, or do you prefer to see it as a useful way of monitoring your web presence and work prospects?

The answer lies somewhere in-between. Depending on the mood of the self-searcher, looking for the size of your presence on the web can either temporarily bolster or batter one’s self esteem, or give you a glimpse into how others (including prospective work contacts) see you, or mistake you for someone else.

Not long after Google was up and running, a friend implored me to Google myself. It sounded rude and sexual so I hung up on him. But after a clarifying phone call, I gave it a try and found out that I was really, really rich, married to someone called Steven with whom I had set up a philanthropic organisation bearing our names, and had a nice , neat bob instead of mass of unruly curls. There was loads and loads written about me and my fabulous, philanthropic life.

Then there was this other person with my name and there was only one reference to her. She slagged off a single by The Smiths in a very old edition of the NME. Obviously a bitter and twisted nobody, not a patch on the Californian zillionaire.

Yes, an amusing case of mistaken web identity (have you figured out which one I am yet?) but it illustrates a good point for Workologists: Is the web presence version of you an accurate reflection of who you are , what you do and , more to the point, what you can do for others who might pay you handsomely to do it, or does it open the door to reveal some embarrassing and best forgotten skeletons in your www.iusedtobeabitofaprat.com cupboard?

A new search aggregator called Addict-o-Matic, which I initially thought was a joke alarm type device that would set off sirens every time you searched your own name, is a useful new addiction to the other search engines because it returns results from social networks such as Facebook as well as other sources. In the current job market, web presence matters in a big way and it is just as important that your one does not work against you as it does promote your USPs.

An article from the New York Times archive - highlights how an online persona can undermine a great resume. It tells how an potential intern candidate for a Chicago consulting firm described his interests (on Facebook) as ” smoking blunts, shooting people and obsessive sex” Needless to say the guy didn’t get the gig. What might be funny and outrageous to one group of people can really put off people in the working world.

What is your experience? Does your web presence help or hinder your business?

Here are the results to last week’s question, In your working life, what would you find the most scary to do?

This week’s poll: 

What other things do you want from your working life? Tell us what drives you.

What is a white and “acceptable lie” in the workplace – “a porkie”; and what is a downright lie for which an employee should probably get sacked?

The Belfast Telegraph has reported that fake sick notes are being sold on www.doctorsnotestore.com to healthy people who want to bunk off work.  They’re available for Ireland, the UK and Australia.  The authentic-looking documentation bears real doctors’ names, but has no official link to sick notes given by GPs to patients unable to work.   The notes retail for €29.99 and are meant to be a novelty product, but the website’s testimonial section quotes one customer as saying: “I have been using your fake doctors’ note service for five years, now I get an extra two weeks’ holiday every year.”

Clearly, abusing sick notes is overstepping the mark.  It undermines the principle of the doctor-patient relationship. But – let’s be honest – we’ve all told some sort of fib at work to get out of something we didn’t want to do.

What porkies have you told at work? Where would you draw the line?

[in keeping with the theme, you can enter a fake name and email address if you want to remain anonymous!]

There is something profoundly depressing – or cheering, depending on your point of view – about watching a guy who can recite great tracts of Milton ringing up a random person and say, “Do you own your own home?”

Have you ever taken an in-between job at, say, a call centre? They’re stuffed with people with degrees in theatre arts, dance, media studies, philosophy, art history, English literature. But, for many of those degree holders, their call-centre career ain’t a stopgap. Research shows that three years after completing their courses, 40% of graduates are in jobs that don’t require a degree.

I’m actually part of that stat. I’m now a journalist, despite studying for a degree in Education [but only taught for one year, having discovered that small children in the confines of a classroom are like normal children, only psychotic]. So, this begs the question, whither study? University of Ludlow or University of Life?

While the government is urging more young people to pursue higher education – so many of their role models – Branson, Beckham, Oliver, did not get degrees. And not all employers think that degree holders have the kind of skills that matter in the working world. A CBI study on employment trends found that 20% of employers thought degree holders lacked skills in communication, problem solving, team working and IT. That’s not even factoring in the inverted snobbery of MDs and other top bosses who left school at 16 and it “never did them any ‘arm.” In my trade, journalism, trying to get on a newspaper on the back of a media studies degree is social and professional suicide. There’s a lot more respect for the kid who left school at 16 to do an internship on the local rag.

And, why not when you hear that the University of Nottingham announced a few years ago that it was offering an MA programme in Robin Hood studies? It’s loads more complicated than, “He stole from the rich, he gave to the poor” – apparently. Other degrees bound to raise a smirk in the company of status seekers are golf course management, circus arts, stand up comedy and the most recent offering from Sussex University – bee-keeping. This last one – apiculture, if you want to get fancy about it – has wider applications than you might think. They say by studying how bees live, we can learn about health, better public transport systems and peaceful living- good thing for say, a mayor or Prime Minister to know.

That said, there is no doubting a First from a top university is going to open doors for you, but how many of us with not so exulted degrees have used them in our working lives..?

Have you? Has your degree even been a bit of a handicap in your working life, in terms of other people’s perception of you?

What are the scariest work situations you’ve found yourself in? Tell us your stories.

Can you top the following true story for a toe curling job interview gone badly wrong?

The interview at an investment bank was going swimmingly until the question of swimming came up. The banker noted that his prospective employee’s CV listed synchronised swimming as a hobby.

“How many of there are you in the team?” he enquired in a friendly way.

“Oh, I just do it by myself,” she said, blowing her story and the interview in one hideous belly flop of an answer.

We like to think that job interviews that go badly wrong are character building. You can’t learn from your mistakes unless you actually make any. There again, if you are mainly “learning” from mistakes and not actually getting any work, you have to question if what you are learning is actually of any use.

We here at Workology are the dirty realists of job hunting. While we don’t think anyone in our community is a synchronized swimming fantasist, we know even the best candidates sometimes shoot themselves in the foot during interviews. That’s probably why Martin John Yate’s Great Answers to Tough Interview Questions (Kogan Page, £8.99) is in its 7th edition and is a must have for anyone looking for work in the old fashioned, formal interview way, or even in the new fashioned, “Come in for a chat” Workology way. Whether you are facing a board of five bored looking HR people or having natter over coffee ( with the aim of procuring work) the same rules apply.

Here’s the central dilemma. You’ve got to be prepared, but as Yate points out, “Slick answers are going to make you sound like a used-car salesman.” Take a look at these heart sink questions, as listed by Yate:

1) Describe a situation where your work or idea was criticised.
2) Tell me about something you are not very proud of.
3) What problems do you have getting along with others?

Rough translation? Why have you been such a jerk? Convince me that you will not be a jerk here and also make us pots of money. The key here is not so much the literal answer, but the way you tell it, which Yate says, should prove you have – amongst other professional behaviours – communication and listening skills; goal orientation; willingness to be a team player; motivation and energy; analytical skills; dedication and reliability; determination; confidence; pride and integrity…

How do you pack all that in to one answer? You’ll have to read the book. Martin John Yate’s Great Answers to Tough Interview Questions, is published by Kogan Page (RRP £8.99)

Meanwhile - just for fun - tell us your best “career limiting move” moments in job interviews. We’ve been asking round and our favourite answer to the question so far is “Hitting on the boss’s wife at the office Christmas do.”

What are yours?

A reflexologist halved her hours a few months ago so she could have more time to do the things she wanted to do: see friends, write, do up her flat, study and relax. Very Workology, I thought, except it hasn’t quite gone to plan. She says she is still rushing around like a headless chicken, but now with half the money. After fielding my usual unhelpful suggestions (Why not have the same number of clients, but just do one foot per person?) I loaned her Steve Taylor’s Making Time – a highly readable treatise on psychological time vs. real time, and how to make more time to do the stuff that matters.

Controlling time is what all those who struggle to forge their own working patterns aspire to: to make your own hours, to get a good work-life balance going, to make your job fit around your life rather than your life fit around your job, and ideally, to like your job so much that the time you spend doing it flies. This last idea is central to Taylor’s “parallel theory of relativity” which explains why time flies when you are having a good time, and becomes a clock watching hell when you are not.

Even if you are doing a job you love, there will be parts of it that you love less than others. For me, it’s taxes and admin, for you, it may be pitching for new clients, or travelling to appointments. When you are doing the thing you like less, you feel a bit like a kid in the back of the car, asking, “Are we there yet?”

This is the gist of it:

• Time passes quickly in states of absorption
• Time passes slowly in states of non absorption.

Popular psychology has addressed these issues before- about being in a state of “Flow” or “In the zone”- when you are so at one with what you are doing, you have no notion of the passage of time. It’s a great way to be, and a corker of an excuse for being late for a meeting. (”Sorry, I was stuck in the Zone”)

So, how do we speed up the boring bits and slow down the good bits? Here are Taylor’s suggestions:

1) Don’t stress about the things you don’t want to do. Jog, mediate, do yoga, whatever it takes to be a relaxed mental state. You’ll be more engaged with the task, even if it’s not your favourite part of the job.

2) Make sure your physical environment is pleasant. Discomfort prolongs time.

3) Don’t look at the clock. The less aware you are of time, the faster it goes.

4) Don’t do a bit of this and a bit of that. Do one thing and finish it before moving on to the next. Doing things sequentially keeps you more absorbed

5) Don’t rush through the bad bits. Rushing creates stress (see tip one)

Making Time, by Steve Taylor is published by ICON BOOKS (RRP £8.99)

How do you manage your time? When do you feel in ‘the flow’? Do you like to get the worst bits over first?

Write and tell us how you make your time fly.

We received a lively response from you in our last discussion, Are Your Feeling the Pinch? It’s clearly a subject that many of you are thinking about in your business lives.

So, we are following the discussion up with a competition to collect your best business advice on how to beat an economic slowdown. We will be choosing the top five tips, which we’ll be featuring on our homepage. We’ll also be dishing out the following rewards:

* Winner: Apple Macbook Air (RRP £1,200)

* 2nd place: SIM-free Blackberry Curve 8300 (RRP £300)

* 3rd place: £50 worth of Amazon vouchers

Each tip must be followed by your personal experiences of how you carried it out, and by the results you experienced to your business life. You can submit by replying to this blog; you can post as many tips as you want; each submission must be limited to 300 words.

This offer is restricted to registered members of Workology [click here to register]. The competition deadline is the 28th July 2008.

Please click here to submit your tip. 

‘Dan, you could earn twice as much if you make the leap.’

‘Son, you should do whatever makes you happy.’

‘Darling, now’s not the time to take that sort of risk.’

Money. Fulfilment. Security. Money. Fulfilment. Security. Money. Fulfilment. Security. Aaaaaaaargh… Which way should you turn?

My friend’s – Dan’s – compass has gone haywire recently since two of his work colleagues turned their backs on their city-slick corporate lives. One, to become a Blue Collar Revolutionary and retrain as a plumber; the other – like many high-profile Workologists – to study psychology; Dan envies them both. The plumber, because he’s managed to escape into a credit crunch-proof trade earning a daily wage that I’d mud-wrestle my own mother for; the other, because she’s pursuing a professional ambition that she’s harboured since the cradle.

Obviously, both choices have their downsides – no corporate perks, no corporate security, no corporate hours. But the upsides are nevertheless alluring. So, Dan decided to canvass opinion from his dearest. Not helpful. Everyone, it seems, had their own agendas to pursue – business interest, maternal guilt, or baby ‘in development’. Dan’s in a pickle, and this got me thinking about how Workology could help him.

Workology, I must admit, has an agenda too. Our agenda is to empower you at these moments of crisis to cut the path that best suits you. And the best way we can do this is by connecting you with likeminded members. Your compass may be in spasm, but you can guarantee that other Workologists have been there before you to help you along the way. Either post a discussion in the Knowledge Market, or – if you want to discuss more privately – search for likeminded members by their tags in the Members Directory and introduce yourself. Workology isn’t just for professionals who want to work their own way, but for anyone who finds themselves stumped at the crossroads of their working life.

For Dan, driving up the M40 in his corporate car to attend another corporate conference, crossroads aren’t usually a problem with his corporate SatNav. But when it comes to the bigger picture of Money, Fulfilment or Security, the Workology Y-Junction is a three-way dilemma destined to send any TomTom round the bend.

I think I’ll invite him to Workology..!

Have you faced the Workology Y-Junction? What trade-offs have you had to make? Are you more satisfied with your workstyle as a result?